


Living Without You

by Lady_Faulkner



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Flashbacks, M/M, Mpreg, Past Loki/Thor (Marvel), Post-Endgame, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pseudo-Incest, Time Travel, past alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-09 11:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18637231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Faulkner/pseuds/Lady_Faulkner
Summary: Thor has been hiding a secret throughout all of "Avengers Endgame" and he finally takes some time to think about it and how it's going to impact his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> POST-AVENGERS ENDGAME!!!! 
> 
>  
> 
> If you have not seen it yet, you may not want to read this! NOT too heavy on spoilers but if you don't want ANY foreknowledge of "Endgame" before you see it, DO. NOT. READ!!!
> 
> Hello, Thorki fandom, it's been a while. I couldn't get this idea out of my head so enjoy!

Thor sat down on the bunk Quill had given him and placed a hand on his swollen gut.

“Hanging in there, little one?” he inquired. “It’s been a big day.”

He knew it would be at least another year before he would be able to feel the baby growing inside him, but he imagined that he felt a strong kick in reply.

“I haven’t been very kind to you, have I?” Thor continued, kicking off his boots. “I’m going to stop the drinking and the bad eating habits too. I want you to be healthy when I finally…. When I finally get to meet you.”

Thor pushed himself against the wall at the head of his bunk and rubbed his belly.

“I wonder what you’ll be like. I’ll love you for who you are, of course, but...I’m still going to wonder. It’s all right if you’re like your father, he wasn’t always the best, but he was...he was good, in the depths of his heart, he was good. I hope you’re a little like him.”

_Loki_.

He would never get to meet their child. The child they created on the one night they shared aboard the Grandmaster’s ship before Thanos had found them.

_“I wonder if he knew. When he tried to trick Thanos, did he know that I was…?”_ Thor speculated.

Asgardian pregnancies could last half a decade to a decade, and Thor was only just beginning to show. But that didn’t mean anything, especially considering that his child was half Asgardian, half Jotun.

The excessive drinking he’d done before he’d realized that he was carrying Loki’s child had helped to explain his weight gain. The amount of food he’d eaten because of the drinking had helped to hide his increasing appetite and his depression and disillusion had helped to hide the mood swings, even from himself. It wasn’t until he’d traveled back to Asgard and spoken with his mother that he’d realized what was happening to his body.

 

*

_“You’re sure?”_ he breathed in disbelief.

Frigga nodded. _“I always suspected that there was...something between you and Loki.”_

Thor bowed his head, _“We tried to fight it. We really tried, mother.”_

_“I’m not upset. Not about that, but you need to take care of yourself now that you know.”_

_“Yes, mother, I will.”_

*

 

Thor looked down at his belly, “I wish you could have met her. Properly. She would’ve adored you. And...so would your father.”

  


*

The liquor bottle stopper slipped from Loki’s fingers as Thor kissed him, one arm wrapped around Loki’s waist, the other cupping Loki’s jaw.

_“Thor, after all this time, you’re finally giving into me?”_ Loki teased, his voice was silky and seductive when the broke apart.

_“Don’t make me regret this, Loki,”_ Thor returned.

_“I wasn’t expecting that from you, brother,”_ Loki whispered.

Thor caressed Loki’s cheek. _“Loki, I’m tired of playing games; I want you.”_

Loki’s eyes searched Thor’s.

_“Truly,”_ Thor assured him.

Loki softly kissed Thor, but the kiss did not remain chaste for long. The trickster’s tongue slipped past Thor’s teeth, and his blunt fingernails explored the cropped hair. Thor moaned under Loki’s touch and began nibbling at Loki’s neck.

_“Take me to bed, brother,”_ Loki moaned between kisses.

Thor’s meaty hands squeezed Loki’s ass before pulling Loki onto his hips. Thor kissed him as he carried Loki to the luxurious bed.

 

*

Thor pulled his mind back to the present and rested his hand over his child. Their child. “What shall I tell you about him?” he mused. “Your father? Well, he was the god of mischief, if that tells you anything, but...he there was more to him than that. He was devilishly clever, witty, and...while he would never admit it, he had a great capacity for love. I truly think he would have adored you. I’ll be he would have spoiled you rotten and let you make mischief all day...but he would have also been highly protective of you.”

Quill and Rocket yelled at each other from somewhere deep in the ship, momentarily distracting Thor from his thoughts.

When he collected them again, Thor blinked back tears, _“Loki, how do I do this without you? I don’t know how to be a parent, or how to do what’s best for our child. All I know is that I love them more than anything because...because they are something beautiful that we created. And I want to give them everything and most of all, a choice. That’s why I left New Asgard; so our baby could be whoever they want to be without the pressure of the throne. Look what that did to us. I want our little one to be better. To grow up surrounded by love and support. And I wish you were here to help me do that. But… we’ll be okay. I mean it. I’m going to be better now and I’m going to take good care of our child. I promise you, Loki.”_

Thor laid down on his side and rubbed his belly, thinking of the future and planning everything he would do for their child. But before he could really do any of that, he would need to tell the Guardian of the Galaxy that he was pregnant with Loki’s child.

_“They’ll understand, right?”_


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor tells the Guardians his secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you guys liked the original story so much, I decided to write a little more! Hope you enjoy it!

Drax stared at Thor’s belly. “So, you’re not fat? You’re pregnant with another man’s child?” 

“Exactly,” Thor smiled. “Well, some of this is fat, but most of it is baby. Loki’s baby.”

“Wait, wait, woah,” Quill said, holding up a hand. “Who’s Loki?”

“My brother,” Thor explained. 

Quill did a double-take, “Your...brother?”

“I am Groot!” exclaimed Groot. 

“Groot!” Rocket scolded, “But yeah, what he said.” 

“Loki was adopted,” Thor amended. 

“But you were raised as brothers?” Rocket pressed. 

“Yes,” Thor replied, resting his hands over his girth. “We were very close but were driven apart when we grew older.” 

“Probably for good reason,” Rocket muttered to Quill. 

Mantis stepped forward, “Is Loki the one you felt a great loss for?” 

Thor nodded. 

“So, when is Thor Jr. going to get here?” Quill inquired. 

Thor looked at him and smiled, “Don’t worry, I will likely carry this child for another four years, if not more. I don’t really know, actually. Jotuns have longer pregnancies, and since my child will be half-Jotun, it could be another ten years before they’re born. Plenty of time to find your girlfriend again and convince her to be good again!” 

“Are you sure you’ll be up to helping us?” Quill mumbled his eyes on Thor’s belly. 

“Of course! This one,” Thor replied, resting a hand over his belly, “can handle anything. I am the strongest Avenger, after all.” 

“I am Groot.” 

Thor’s smile broadened and he pointed at Groot in agreement. “See? Tree gets it!” 

Quill looked from Groot to Thor. “Fine. Just don’t expect me to hold your hair when you puke.” 

“I’m not going to…” Thor retorted before dashing from the room. 

“I am Groot?”

Quill looked at him in confusion, “What? No, it’s called ‘morning sickness’.” 

“We must help Thor get over his mourning,” Drax decided.

Mantis nodded eagerly, “Yes! He is filled with such sorrow. No wonder he is sick!” 

Quill opened his mouth to correct them but decided against it and walked to the cockpit to check on his ship. 

 

*

Luckily for the Guardians, Thor’s morning sickness wasn’t rampant. It would strike every few weeks or so, but they were otherwise able to continue their adventures. Among the more memorable of these adventures involved Thor puking all over their adversary, which Rocket and Drax joked about for weeks after the fact. Thor joined in on the joke, but as his child grew and the frequency of his morning sickness increased, he found it more difficult to laugh. 

“It looks like you swallowed a small asteroid,” Rocked commented one day. 

Thor looked up from his mid-morning meal and rested a hand on his swollen belly.  _ “I am getting rather large, aren’t I?” _

“Why would Thor eat swallow an asteroid?” Drax inquired. 

“I am Groot?”

“Yeah, how much longer do you think your baby will be cooking?” Rocket asked, eyeing the amount of food Thor was consuming. 

Thor shrugged, “Who knows? It’s been a few thousand years since an Asgardian-Jotun baby was born. And all the records were...lost with Asgard.” 

“Well, any bigger, and we’ll be able to roll you into battle,” Rocket quipped. 

“I am Groot!” Groot laughed. 

Thor frowned at the mental image Groot had created and finished up his meal.  _ “How much bigger am I going to get? Loki was a small Frost Giant, but maybe our baby won’t be.”  _ He tried not to think too much about that. 

 

*

After eleven years of carrying Loki’s child, Thor finally went into labor. The pain was unlike any Thor had ever experienced and the cries of his child were deafening, but when he looked at the sleeping bundle in his arms, Thor couldn’t stop smiling. 

_ “She’s beautiful, Loki.” _

Their little girl had tufts of raven hair, and Thor had seen a flash of blue when she’d briefly opened her eyes. Her arms and legs were long and delicate; she would have made a perfect princess on Asgard, but Thor was glad that she didn’t have any of that hanging over her. She was his. His and Loki’s and she could be whatever she wanted. 

“You could be a Valkyrie,” Thor whispered to her. “They’re amazing warrior women. I wanted to be one. But if you don’t, that’s all right too.” 

Thor held her close and began to think of a good name for her. He’d had a few in mind during his pregnancy, but now that he was holding her in his arms, he wanted to give her the best one he could. After a moment, he knew that there was only one that would fit her and make Loki proud. 

“Frigga,” Thor whispered to his sleeping daughter. 

 

*

“Eight… nine… ten…. Here I come!” Thor called, removing his hands from his eyes. He looked around the cargo hold of the Guardians’ ship and caught a glimpse of his daughter’s green shirt poking out from behind a crate. He quietly crept closer but when Thor nudged the hem of the skirt with his foot, it the illusion broke. He’d been tricked.

The giggles of a five-year-old echoed off the walls and Thor heard her scurrying to a new hiding place. He followed the sounds of her boots, only to find an illusion of them. 

_ “She gets more like you every day, Loki.” _

Thor began searching in random places while listening for his daughter’s giggles. She hadn’t yet learned to keep her glee to herself. 

Thor had about given up when he saw a small, black snake gliding along the floor. Smiling, he picked it up and admired his daughter’s shapeshifting abilities. He gave the snake a kiss on the head and his daughter materialized. 

“Blah! It’s me!” she exclaimed, hugging him around the neck. 

Thor chuckled and embraced his daughter. 

“I’m just like daddy!” Frigga asserted. 

“Just like daddy,” Thor agreed.  _ “But thankfully without the knife.” _

Frigga snuggled into Thor’s shoulder. “Again?” 

“If you want,” Thor replied. 

“Yes!” Frigga exclaimed. 

Thor sat her down, covered his eyes, and began to count.

“No! It’s  _ your _ turn to hide!” Frigga objected, stamping her foot. 

Thor uncovered his eyes. “You’re right. Sorry.” 

Frigga covered her eyes and began counting aloud while Thor went to hide. He put some effort into it but not so much that it would be impossible for Frigga to find him. 

It took her a few seconds, but she did find him and scolded him for being so easy to find. “You should have turned into something so I couldn’t find you!”

“You’ll have to teach me how to do that,” Thor replied. 

Frigga asserted that it was easy and shapeshifted a few times to demonstrate her point. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have your talents,” Thor sighed. 

“Is she showing you up again?” Rocket called, walking in with his arms full of machine parts. 

Frigga’s face lit up, “Sweet Rabbit!” 

She ran to hug him and Rocket begrudgingly allowed her to do so. 

“Father isn’t good a hide-and-seek,” Frigga pouted. 

“No? Well, he is a bit too big to hide, don’t you think?” Rocket smirked. 

Frigga nodded enthusiastically. 

A pair of heeled boots clanked against the metal floor and Gamora poked her head into the cargo hold. “Playing games again?” 

“Aunt Gamora!” Frigga exclaimed, running to her. “Father’s too big to play hide-and-seek!” 

Gamora looked at Thor and her eyes rested on his soft belly. He’d lost most of the baby fat, but caring for Frigga had left him little time to get back in shape. 

“I’m sure your father does his best,” Gamora commented. 

Frigga giggled. “We should all play!” 

“I don’t know sweetie,” Gamora sighed.

“Everyone needs to play!” Frigga demanded. “Uncle Quill, Tree, Rabbit, Drax, Mantis, you, and father.” 

Thor shrugged and looked at Gamora and Rocket.  _ Why not? _

Rocket patched into the ship’s PA system and announced the game of hide-and-seek, which Thor as the seeker. 

He covered his eyes and began to count. 

“One….”

_ “Loki.” _

“Two….”

_ “You’d love her.” _

“Three….”

_ “Our little Frigga.” _

“Four….”

_ “She’s just like you.”  _

“Five….”

_ “She drives me crazy.” _

“Six….”

_ “But so did you.” _

“Seven….”

_ “I miss you.”  _

“Eight….”

_ “I love you.”  _

“Nine….”

_ “And I’m going to take care of her.” _

“Ten….”

_ “Just watch me.” _

“Here I come!” 


End file.
